Stop thinking stop thinking.

Argh. I am JEALOUS !
I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school. I want go school, i want go school.

Ohmy, Seriously, Why am i so kind? People dont treat me like how i treat them, I still ..?
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

One day, I will get back things that suppose to be mine.

One day, Daxiong grown up, Doraemon cant hold his hand anymore :(

Stress, go away

Currently mood is okay, I found out that if i dont go think of those "Whatever Stress" thing, my mood will be normal, and not so easily uncontrol my emotions or suddenly cry like that. SO, Happy Kohkoh :) .


Some things, I only can take it as memory.
Some people, I only can take it as passer-by.

Today have a long talk or maybe,, quarrel with my mother.

Started on why i hate my mother's friend. Then until me. About my friend. I told her in my life, there is only few person i willing to sacrifice my life for, the person not her, not my sister or brother but my friend.

Cause in family this kind of thing, i already totally give up, all of you guys already force me to the end. And, the only thing until now i live is actually because of friendship, only this thing. Then my mother says, we are young, childish, we dont know who are the people we can thrust. But she dont know, I, I am alot alot mature, and i am sure about it. She also say why only for these few friends, she say i only 14, my life still got a long way to go.

Listen until this part, i dont know whether to cry or laugh. Then I say or maybe shout to my mother about i everyday stay at home she dont let me go out, how could i know new friend? If i still have no school to go, forever in my life, i have no chances already. Because, if i cant go to school, i cant know new friend, i need go back malaysia, and stay in that big house, maybe,, forever.

Some people treat you good, because you treat them good.
Some people treat you good, because they know how good you are.

These few days i have been reading a Novels. NAISE BOOK ! This book is being make to a show. I AM WAITING FOR IT! :D .

And i really want to slap my mother -.- She is fucking unreasonable, and she is a fucking liar. Only know how to threaten people. Childish. I rather die then listen to her. Tmd. Born me so what? Half of my life she throw me to child care, grandma, father's friend. I.. I REALLY ALREADY CANT CONTROL. One day i really will kill ! What i want actually is easy family. A father A mother and Sister brother. Everyday when i come back from outside, we eat dinner together. But.. :( WTF. Actually only want write what i hate about my mother, but write until so sad -.- KAO.

Be good enough to forgive someone, but don’t be stupid enough to trust them again.

2 Nights no sleep, because watching BLEACH & 步步惊心,, My dark circle is getting darker, :( . But until now i still not tired. DONT TELL ME,,, I ... Actually.. IS... A ... SUPER WOMAN ?! LOL . JOKE! Anyways, kinda sad :( . NOT SAD, but like something stuck at the chest there.

Someone told me before:

When you can't remember why you're hurt, that's when you're healed.

But i remember SO CLEARLY :( And is getting clearer and clearer. I want cry but i wont. Because,,
Even there is thousands of reason in life to make me cry, I still have to find a reason to smile. Because this is life, The only thing I can do is make myself stronger.

Wish I think to much.

Already so late.. 3:19am . Dont know why, sitting in this dark room, flashing a lot of memories.
曾经的 朋友.
曾经的 欢笑.
曾经的 快乐.
曾经的 美好.
曾经的 梦想.
Friend.
Laugh-ness.
Happiness.
Good-ness
And... My dream.

Sometimes i thought i already..uh.. how to say... uh, mature. I thought i already grown up. But HAHAHAHA. I still so childish. Crying for all those stupid things or nothing. Sometimes i also dont know why i suddenly cry, even songs makes me cry. Because of the lyrics? Today i cry again, cause because of 家, 是每个小孩的梦想. Lyrics. I cry, well not really cry. Just tears suddenly come out. The feeling.. urgh. Home? I have one. But.. i rather i dont have.

Actually i not that kind of person that is very.. uh.. I like happiness. But i love quiet. I like to be alone but, i felt lonely. I like clean, but i love black. A lot of things, I REALLY JUST FUCKING DONT UNDERSTAND.

WHY..

WHYWHYWHY.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.