Seriously. I don't want to live . Nobody cares me.

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I not happy.. I seriously not happy. since i join, i get more laughs.. but my heart is crying more.. I dont understand. Why rather believe in others then yourself ? .. Friends.. Is my only hope. and i dont wish my hope get destroy.. i really cherish this friendship, with all my heart. but why?.. it since so far now.. my hopes.

Is you say de, if need you call you.. now i need help, you hide. IHATEYOU luh. dont regret. DONT REGRET. I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! what i do wrong. what did i do. why you like this. I only want to make things get better. i want my life back. 没遇见你就好了.. You dont like me then say, no need hide from me. JUST SAY. I.Hate.You.

I really love you.
Love so pain eh...I really love you but you don't believe. Ya, i admit at the start i am only just playing.. But i starting to more and more like you.. Even love you. But you don't believe, it makes me regret, regret at first place i because of lonely fake love you.... You now don't believe me.. You dont give me a chance... Is it the love i gave you make you too tired? 是你给了我希望, 也是你毁了我对你的爱.. I hate you for not giving me a chance, I hate you for all the gentle you gave her, I hate you for making waiting for nothing. I hate you so much. But i love you more... I have once try to give up, try to take other people as you. I tried to like other people. Every night i told myself, I don't love you anymore.. But the more i tell myself, the more i like you. I just can't resist. I really don't understand, is it i don't worth your love? 我到底哪里不好? Should i let go of you? i wish i could.. If you can walk into my heart, You will cry... Because inside my heart there is full of the sadness you gave me.. If i can walk into your heart, I will also cry... Because inside your heart there is full of your don't bother... I am so stupid, I thought i got a chance, I thought you will like me someday.. And it is only my wishful thinking..

Quite busy these days.. I really want to give up.. today have E3 gathering. not much people going >~<. we go LANLANLAN play blackshot & others. quite fun, blackshot :). thats all.

No wound, but heart keep aching. What exactly should i do to make you understand...Everything i do, is because you...are the person i care most?

understand my heart please.

Hongster never die.

only two hours. you got another girlfr. i should be lucky that i didnt put in too much serious. thats all. have a bath today in amy jie house, COLD. 小四, 对不起啦..求你原谅我>~< COCONUT:D anyway, i cant get over him. he dont reply my message, even he know. my heart pain, lala ar lala, when will you reply my message?..

You dont love me.

yeah, i am single. i guess he is not my cup of tea. today went boonlay with jess, go pet shop meet ahkor and cecilia jie. fun? I DRANK 4small cans of coconut drinks and 2 big cans of coconut drinks. i went toilet alot of times. But its okay, you want me drink, i drink :) iloveyou.

Believe or not? believe in myself, i dont know what myself are thinking. how to believe.. if i believe, i have to wait again, if i dont believe, when it happens, i will regret. so.. should i believe or not.

Coconut drink, i am in love with coconut drink. :D 小四, I love you :) . Thanks for being there when i need you, i love you ttm man!

secrets. everyone have. say out, less stress:)

today, okok, meet Evelyn, Jennifer, Cecilia jie, Amy jie, Xavier , and AHKOR. LOL . Fun luhh. I think i trying to forget him le.

My greatest wish? i wish i can fly.

i regret to ask. i am afraid to know the answer but in the same time, i want to know, desperately. i know i get hurt, but i still want to know. stupid right? me. I know. for you, i can do anything. but you just dont understand because you never even try to. boy, you are a bastard.

liar.. you are nothing but a liar. last chance.. you also dont want me to have it. you already stab a hole in my heart, now you stab again. how can you be so cruel?! use this to hurt me you, liar. liar. liar.

I admit, i cant forget you, but you wont be mine, you belongs to someone else. my heart pain you know? you know..? no, you wouldnt know. i sick of being so fake. i am sick of everything. why wont you give me a chance, why? i know i have nothing, nothing to make you like me. you tell me, i can change, i really can! but you dont even give me a chance.. you know what? my heart pains.. alot.

I have a bunch of nice friends :) Evelyn, Jennifer, Rebecca, Dawn, Eugenia, Cherly, Qifang, Aleefa, Joey, XiaoQi, YanFei, Steffi, Claudia, Ziying, Vanessa and lots who have waste their tears on me. I wont go back to malaysia, but.. i will leave that school, i will transfer :) i will visit you all often! one message one text i flew down! i want to say alot of things but i dont know how to express it. I LOVE YOU ALL!! i really do! I will miss you all. do miss me too.

You should have told me earlier. and you have a nice big warm hand :)

i lose, i lose. my future end here. i have nothing left, nothing. you take away my future, my everything. can you give me back?

just back. today, DC area again, but with an extra guy. not really bored liao. some fucking guy say i take his money. which i didnt. i dont care. slack with JJEHFCK at staircase. police come. a uncle report. first time get questioning. nothing happen. went home. i dun like him anymore, serious, i will never like a guy like him anymore, i wont so stupid go hurt myself again. why for? loving such a guy is like jumping in a hole which have no end. and is like in the jumping to the fire, knowing it is death.

i am useless. i am hopeless.

Just come back from school, yeah, i spent my whole day down the DC area. is bored, but i happy i am back. he is avoiding me, why? is you ownself say atleast can be friend, when i give up, when i already give up, you go remove friend from facebook, avoiding me, take me as if i am invisible. i already dont like you ler. is it i cant even be your friend? atleast friend.. i thought. my heart, it is already had a hole, i dont want more.

fake smile. really fake. i miss the old you. if times goes back, will you choose the same person again?

Tomorrow school, my feeling abit confusing, and scared? i scared being expel, i scared i will leave my friends, i scared i cant continue study. if i got one more chance, one more, i swear i will change, change everything i can, change to what the school wants. how i wish i was forever 12. how i wish everything can start all over again, how i wish i was never born.

There is a million things running though my mind.

This one week suspension happens lots thing . Make me feel more clear . I think i will be a good student . i think . i try . i wish . I try not to tio any case from school . I miss going back . i really miss . Anyyways . i dun like him anymore . guess he is too good , i not worth it . yeahh . i know i am not good , i have nothing to make you like me , and i understand . but ... 我不甘心 ! 我不甘心 ! why you can like so many ppl , but not me . yeahh , yarhh , you and me the distance really very farr , i also cant reach you . no point continue like you . you are too good for me .

Rebecca and Hoong feng stead :D .

Jennifer and Sean stead , break next day .

sometimes , things happen tooo fast that you cant even know why , how , when it happens . it just happens . i see how my frens smile slowly fade , how they manage to fixed it back with a fake smile , i want to know , when my frens strted to change . strted to hide . strted to put a mask on their face . and what makes them change . and why it happens ..

Friends ..

I LOVE HIM . YEAH , I LOVE HIM YESSS , I LOVE HIM , YES ! I LOVE HIM :) GOT PROBLEM ?

I am not perfect , but i will keep trying :)

Thursday:

Went go see movie with my father brother and sister , We watch 新少林寺 , the show made me cry , so touching .. This is the nicer movie i ever seen it , actually is only for 18 and above , but In malaysia mah .. who cares .

HELLO GUYs :) LONG TIME NO POST , HAHA . HAPPI NEW YEAR , HAHAs . I will miss him :< 6 days cant see him , haiz . I wish things will get better .

Today , suckzxc man , so fucked up . Someone IN OUR CLASS go sabo me evelyn and jess . PHONE KENA CONFISCATE ! I never even use that phone for three weeks , then nid say bye bye ler , aww . Today i like most is MUSIC,, HEHE . I wont say why , HAHA . LALA .

But ... Heart pain :'C ...

I LOVE YOU , seriously . I am not joking . . . I am going to confess to you , asap . I want you :(

... TOday, is a tired day .. Go school , PLAYPLAYPLAY , after school , go hmt . Then Go near bubble tea shop there go meet jess and Evelyn and Jess bf , Julius ? Dk how spell , Then Is raining mah , So Evelyn go Under rain , I also go under rain lor , We were like totally transparent inside , Evelyn *-----* bra . HAHA . Then Dawnie come , Evelyn tired first go , Then we go mac , DAWNIE Bf And his fren come , WAHAHA . I was like damn xtra , Jess wif Bf , Dawn with Bf , i sit infront of the two cpl siah , HAHA ! Xtra , Then i go mrt there go home . THE END .

这点痛,我还能忍..

Today , OMG , he say hi to me :)

Seriously, kill me . She tell me go die , She hit me with umbrella , She say she dont want see me , She wish i was dead .

HULING :)
HAPPI BDAE ! 14 yrs old liao eh ?
I MISSS YOU ! Ps , I no present for euu , hehe .
BUT ? I LOVE YOU xD ! 我們友情不變!! 沖阿 ! 希望能早點見到你 ! 我愛你!! 愛你愛你!

HELLO , Yesterday very lucky when go school wif evelyn :) Anyways , very daomei oso , in class tio caught by some teacher take off ear sticks , then throw , when JUST put on , PE go out , tio caught by vice principle , haiizz . TOday , Again tio caught by Same vice principle , UNLUCKY! hahas ..
Nothing much ! BYEEBYEE

Idkidk.... FMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFML , Its over , you sucess , i lose . My heart shattered ler . ButButButBut ... I will still smile :D

你夠狠...這樣傷害我!

Then after that we go lot one wif a cute person .. Then we meet regine there and a chiobu xD LOL . We go take neo prints and playplayplay , lala !

I pierce my ear todae Zzz , fourth hole on left ear , err , should be third cos i closing the second hole :) 5mins only siah , I go in to the shop with evelyn , say i wan pierce then pay money sit down , shoot , then go , LOL , 5mins only siah !

Todae idk should say lucky or unlucky , I finally CHANGE My FUCKING place .. But I change beside my de "Ex-Boyfren" walan ... Dk do wat siah , he sibeh guailan lor . Idk why i like him before . Humji+Guailan+Noob=? Anyways teacher say i can change my place becos got lots teacher feedback say i become guai liao , I SO GUAI :D And one stupid lj guy noe my small secret liao , i so scared he say .. If he say out , i gang him ! SERIOUS .

我的心被你吞了..

Don't . Hurt . Me . Can you ? .... I wish the nice to me is not a plan , i wish is not , so please , i beg you . please don't hurt me , can you ?

我真傻, 你傷害我, 不傷害我, 你都沒感覺. 因為你不愛我阿!

就算是一個食物 也有活著權力 就算...幾個小時 也不讓嗎?

You shouldnt care me so much .. Make me Love you again ..

可我知道,我們是不可能的....就讓我默默在愛你..直到我不在愛了..

Look so nice :)
My hand is carrying Evelyn headsss! opps
We are using cam take pic , LOL .
Jenn Wif my xtra hands!!
Ziying me Evelyn Jenn!
EVELYN BULLY T.T LOL .
Twist!



I AM TWEETY BIRD ! HAHA